Back to that morning grind. I love this. I miss this. I had some really great beans from Sweet Bloom, but they’re over a month old and have lost body and soul. It’s all good though, perhaps I’ll cold brew it! 

The final day of fasting. The light at the end of the tunnel is now bright in my face. I’m sitting in a Starbucks nearby my office right now. Suburbia doesn’t offer much beyond chains like Starbucks, but surprisingly this Starbucks is very nice. Lots of wooden furniture, a long communal table, a high ceiling, ample seating. I read a few articles on The Economist, and now I’m jamming out to Marvin Gaye’s “Sparrow”. This feels good, very reminiscent of my days in college. Maybe I’ll do this more often. Maybe I’ll even humble myself to enjoy a Starbucks beverage next time.

Long weekend, so a one day delay of the Sunday night blues. Sorry to be a Debbie Downer, but I felt off my game all day today. I think it’s a combination of fasting fatigue and the 100+ degree humid weather. Perhaps July 4 holiday fireworks would help? Sadly not. After dealing with crazy traffic and an awful parking situation to get to the venue with my family, the fireworks felt like a lame consolation prize. Perhaps the best moment was hopping back into my car and heading home. Ah yes, I love my home, my domain. My humble apartment in Candler Park always makes me happy. Tomorrow will be better. 

Today I visited the Ebenezer Baptist Church in Atlanta. It’s in the historic MLK district in Old Fourth Ward – strangely enough, I used to live just a block away from this church in my early ATL days, yet today was my first visit. Sitting in the main hall was such a fascinating experience. The rows of wooden benches, the beautiful stained glass windows. With the bright golden cross hovering above the stage, I imagined MLK himself standing at the podium. I know that sitting there during the last few days of Ramadan seems odd, but it felt peaceful and serene and powerful. 

Green smoothie. Despite fasting nearly 16 hours each day, the Ramadan diet can be quite destructive. Fried foods and meaty dishes at nighttime, so good yet so incredibly bad. I’m trying to redeem myself with this green smoothie. 1 cup of water, 1 cup of tightly packed spinach, 1 mango, and 1 banana. I chopped up the ingredients and then immersion blended. The fruit nicely covers up the raw spinach taste. This takes me back to my days in Mexico, high in the mountains living the vegan life. 

Friday night. In college, Friday night was always lit. So much hype, so much energy. It’s nearly impossible to feel that energy on Friday nights as a young professional. The week is just so exhausting, and sometimes I want to call it a night at 9pm on Friday. But it’s Ramadan. The nighttime is when we thrive. I took an hour nap after getting home from work, and it totally realized my body and soul. I pushed through the entire night up till sunrise, and even had time to enjoy a pecan waffle at The Waffle House with the fellas for suhoor. That nap, so clutch. 

I listened to a fascinating episode of This American Life this morning. It discussed a few stories where people consciously made the wrong decision despite knowing better. One story discussed Wilt Chamberlain and his 100 point basketball game. He was a notoriously poor free-throw shooter in his career, but he tried underhand shooting during this game. He shot about 87% from the free-throw line, which is double his usual percentage. Despite knowing that underhand is the way to go for him, Chamberlain did not continue the underhand free-throw shot for the rest of his career. He felt ashamed of it, like it was a sissy thing to do. He could have had more 100+ point games in his career if he made free-throws at a higher percentage, yet he chose against it. It’s an understandable sentiment, especially in a testosterone-filled game like basketball. It would take a bold individual to deviate from the herd and fight through the shame to change the status quo. Such bold individuals are winners. I want to deviate from the norm as well, but in a smart way – perhaps professionally, maybe socially too, maybe even in terms of lifestyle. The norm isn’t cool in most place. The standard water cooler conversations at work, complaining that it is only Wednesday. Living in the burbs, receiving Sears power tools on Father’s Day from the wife and kids, and then watching sports all weekend, every weekend. Going out to the bars with your twenty-something friends and having a “great” time. It’s easy to follow the herd, but at least we can try to do better.

Last night I hung out with my good friend Diana. She’s on vacation passing through Atlanta. We go way back, all the way to day 1 at Penn. Freshman year hall mates. It’s crazy to think that we’ve known each other for five years now. I really don’t know where the time has gone. The past several years feel like a blur, yet in the moment life can feel gruelingly long. Like at my cubicle right now, for example. The perception of time is totally different now than before. Middle school felt tortuously long, and high school was similar. College felt a bit quicker, but still slow-paced and I took things day-by-day. But now working life puts the accelerator to the floor. Now I’m taking things week-by-week, just grinding away on the weekdays and coming home exhausted. Then relax and enjoy the very short weekend, then back to the grind. It’s been a year of this already, yet it still feels so new and foreign to me. The idea of burning weeks of my life away doesn’t settle well with me; I need to make each day just a little more worthwhile. Spending time with Diana certainly made yesterday worthwhile. ^_^

I prepped some meatball mix a couple days ago, and it’s been sitting in the fridge, waiting to be shaped, seared, and dropped into tomato sauce. After getting home this evening, I commandeered the kitchen and dreamed of spaghetti and meatballs. I took the mix out of the fridge, shaped it into meatballs, seared them in shallow oil, and dropped them into a simmering pot of pureed San Marzano tomatoes. It didn’t go so well this time. I think taking the mix out of the fridge and cooking the meatballs immediately was the issue. The meatballs fell apart and didn’t get cooked evenly. I usually make the meatball mix fresh and shape/cook them immediately, but perhaps the refrigeration and temperature made the difference in tonight’s venture. Lesson learned. Despite the disappointing result, it’s always great to cook at home. Even after a long day at work and fasting, I found the energy and focus to cook up something real. ^_^

50. The halfway point. Today has been an interesting day. I have little going on at work, so I spent the morning finally going through my personal email and to-do list. I can’t remember the last time my inbox was entirely clean. I oftentimes leave emails marked as unread to address them at a later time, but this leads to so much unnecessary clutter. Instead I went through all the unread emails today and took note of important dates and details onto my to-do list. Then I spent some time organizing the to-do list itself. Less clutter, more clarity. At the same time, I need to learn to let go and embrace the clutter. It’s impossible to have a made bed, clean kitchen, swept floors, pressed shirts, pristine email inbox, and neat to-do list every day. A bit of OCD, no doubt, but I can’t let these mundane, endless tasks rule my world. I’ll leave a few emails unread and perhaps a few disorganized lines on my to-do list. Onto bigger, better, and happier things.